How to be an active listener?

6 ways to become an active listener

Be attentive 

We can all remember a situation where we find it difficult to talk about something that was bothering us. Difficult, painful, or just embarrassing situations that we find almost impossible to talk to anyone about.

Imagine that you have a close friend who wants to tell someone something that is bothering him. How do you persuade him to speak up?

Active listening is a way of listening to that helps people talk about their problems, no matter how difficult it may be for them to put them into words. It sounds like a weird idea. We assume that when we listen, we don't actually do anything. But that is not necessarily the case. As an active listener, even if you say something, you are actually acting as a listening group. What you say has no effect on what the other person has to say. It just helps them talk.

We often say things that stop the conversation, such as "I know how you feel", or "Try not to worry about it". Although they have good intentions, they do not encourage the person you are talking to continue.

Instead, it completes what the other person is saying. You can avoid this by being an active listener.

Listen carefully

To become an active listener, it is important to follow these steps

1- Open questions

Instead of asking questions that are answered yes or no, try to ask open-ended questions. For example, instead of saying, "Has this been going on for a long time?" Ask, "How long has this been going on?" By doing this, instead of ending the conversation with 'yes or no, you leave it open and encourage the other person to keep talking.

2- To summarize

It is useful to show that you have heard and understood what is being said. You can do this by summarizing.  For example, "So your partner treats you badly, but you still love him?"

3- To consider

Repeating a word or phrase encourages people to keep talking. If someone says, "So this has been very difficult for me lately," you can just think about it and continue the conversation, saying, "It seems like it's really hard for you." 

4- To clarify

We all avoid talking about the most difficult issues and even talk less about them. If we can avoid talking about them, we will. If the person you are talking to is superficial about something important, try to say, "Tell me more about ...", or "Looks like...  It's a difficult matter for you." This helps them to make these points clear not only to you but also to themselves.

5- To react

You don't need to be completely neutral. If the person you are talking to is going through a very bad situation, then some empathy and consensus are necessary. It can be useful to say something like "it must be difficult" or "you have had a bad time". It all sounds so simple, and it is. You just have to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people. Encourage them to keep talking.

Show patience and forbearance during a conversation with someone who is discussing his problems with you. Repeatedly turning your head or looking at your wristwatch can discourage that person. And he will feel your anxiety and haste and avoid expressing his worries and sorrows.

Demonstrating patience and perseverance during conversation encourages others to keep talking.

Tip

If you find it difficult to focus on the other person during the conversation, repeat his words in your mind. This will help you to understand his problem. And this will also help you to pay attention to his words.

Conclusion

In this article, we have provided you with guidance on how to start a difficult conversation. The only thing you need to know is that you are not listening to the other person just to answer, but to understand the other person's problems.